How To Better Connect With Your Kids

Connecting with your kids can be a challenge as they grow and become individuals, but I’ve learned over the years that a lot of it comes down to communication skills, as well as taking the time to really make an effort. Although it can be challenging, it is definitely worth the effort and with a few easy tips and tricks, you can be on your way to forming a better connection with your kids. Here are a few ways that you can improve your communication lines and better connect as a family:

Listen And Try To Understand

In any relationship, no matter if it is a friendship, romantic relationship, or a relationship with your kids, listening is essential because when you do not listen, things get mixed up and the communication lines are broken. In order to effectively connect with your children, you have to listen to them. Now, this does not mean that you have to listen and allow them to do whatever they want. It just means that you need to hear their perspective about situations and actually make an effort to communicate properly, which is definitely not the easiest thing to do. When you listen to them, try to understand where they are coming from. Keep in mind that you have a different thought process than they do and you just have to keep reminding yourself this. When you put yourself in someone else’s shoes, it allows you to see how they might be feeling and you can respond better to that emotion. 

Explain Your Decisions Fully

Now you know (well, hopefully you already knew this), that your kids have a different perspective than you do, so when you make a decision, explain why you are making that specific decision in a way that they can hopefully understand, or at least eventually come to terms with. Like we already mentioned, communication is key and it takes two to effectively communicate.

Family Counseling

Communicating within a family (especially with your children) is hard work and sometimes, you need an outsider's perspective to see where you are going wrong with your communication attempts, in order to learn how to properly and effectively communicate. This is where family counseling comes in and can be extremely beneficial. If you are looking for a Therapist in Lawrenceville GA, Marietta GA, Kennesaw GA, Alpharetta GA, or even an online therapist, you should check out Ray of Hope Counseling Services. They have seven convenient locations in Georgia and offer online counseling, as well. They say, “Each family develops its own unique personality, which is powerful and affects all of its members. Counseling can help your family express their concerns in a positive way as well as teach you the tools to adapt to these changes.” Professional family counseling and therapy sessions at Ray of Hope Counseling Services can help you learn new ways to communicate and work through current and future issues that may arise within your family.

Welcome Emotion

Aha! Parenting says, “Sure, it's inconvenient. But your child needs to express his emotions or they'll drive his behavior. Besides, this is an opportunity to help your child heal those upsets, which will bring you closer. So summon up all your compassion, don't let the anger trigger you, and welcome the tears and fears that always hide behind the anger. Remember that you're the one he trusts enough to cry with, and breathe your way through it. Just acknowledge all those feelings and offer understanding of the pain. That creates safety, so he can move through those emotions and back into connection, Afterwards, he'll feel more relaxed, cooperative, and closer to you. (Yes, this is really, really hard. Regulating our own emotions in the face of our child's upset is one of the hardest parts of parenting. But that doesn't mean we're excused from trying.)”

Be There

Last but not least, and probably the most important paragraph of them all - be there for them. The ONLY way that you are going to connect with your kids is by being there for them. You cannot communicate, or try to better understand them without being there for them. We see so many broken families nowadays and honestly, a lot (but not all) of them have to do with the parents not showing up. I get it and I do not mean to offend anyone - we are in a time where we prioritize our work lives, but we HAVE to be there for our children, or we will never truly connect with them. Be there - listen to them - learn how to effectively communicate - and have fun together!